Computerized Murphology


Knoules' laws

1. The number of false matches returned from Internet searches grows exponentially with the urgency of your search.

2. The number of false metadata, tags, descriptors and keywords is doubling every month, so that soon any search on the Internet will become meaningless.

3. The correct use of the language, especially its spelling and grammar, is becoming less and less common with technological progress.

Lizzie's Law

If you've spent a lot of time trying to break into an overloaded server, then your connection to it will be interrupted immediately after you finally manage to connect.

Metcalfe's Law

The value of the Network grows in proportion to the square of the number of people connected to the Network.

Erickson Equivalent

Sitting on the Internet for a long time is about the same as hanging around a huge shelf of magazines all day.

Bolch's law

Old programs will not work on new hardware.

Holten's principle for downloading large files

The chances of getting an error message while downloading a large file increases as you get closer to the end of this procedure.

Download law

If it takes an hour to download a file, then at the 59th minute someone from your home will definitely pick up the phone.

Horowitz Rule

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as twenty people in twenty years.

Hitch's Law for the Internet

When connecting to a site, your request will take the most tortuous and longest possible route.

Petzen's law for the Internet

The most promising search engine result for your query will lead to a dead site.

Picasso's postulate

Computers are useless. The only thing they give you is the answers.

Trope's axiom

The universe is not user friendly.

Risner's Law for the Internet

The likelihood of the browser you're using freezing is directly proportional to how close you are to the information you're looking for.

Schaff's Law for Online Search

Any quote found twice on the Internet will have two different spellings, two different attributions, or both.

Consequence

If the spelling of the quote and its source are the same in two different places, then they are both wrong.

Customer Service Law

The better the customer service is at a given firm, the sooner you will be able to talk to the person who is unable to help you.

Thorson's law

The more difficult and tense the situation, the weaker the charged battery of your mobile phone.

The laws of work on the printer.

1.The first time it will definitely not work.

2. Most likely it won't work on the second try.

3. Immediately after leaving the printer, it will jam the paper.


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